Big Hits
| Nick Church Jumping into a taxi after a Friday night on the beer might not sound such a daft thing to do, except the vehicle Nick squeezed into was in a Burger King restaurant. Pictured Friday Night, 12th May 2006 ........(courtesy of C. Doel)  Player Profile Player Type: Fast Bowler Age: He's still working that one out Marital Status: Nick's waiting for a reply from the doll he bought the other week Hobbies: Drinking beer, getting answers wrong at pub quizzes, talking to plastic dummies. Nick Church Caption Competition Caption competitions don't usually get much of a response, but after the massive success of 'one night with Dave', we think this photo is ready-made for it. Besides, if you were actually with him on Friday night, we would really love to know what Churchie is saying (or whispering in the ear) to the cab driver. We should point out, Churchy himself said that so far he's "got off bloody lightly", which given the fact that he must be at least 6 ft 4" and bowls a bouncer powerful enough to take your head clean off, is hardly surprising. So you've now got the all clear to let loose with all the dirt you like. He's given us the green light and we are happy to oblige...keep the entries rolling in. Just send us the text and we'll do the rest. The prize for the winner will be a Spye Park 2006 T-shirt (brilliant or what?) Click here to view entries  Nick Church Caption Competition: Update Any accusations that we let Nick Church off lightly can now be laid to rest as he becomes the second player to be 'caught & bowled' on the website (thanks in no small part to Charlie Doel - with friends like him, who needs enemies). The first player of course being Dave Wallace, who was well and truly taken to the cleaners after being dumped (and has since been dumped again). Fair play to Nick, who in the end thought 'he might as well get involved' and sent in his own caption entries. Entries are coming in thick and fast (well, relatively speaking for our caption competitions). We might have had more except Andy Ellis, understandably, had trouble working out which one was the dummy. I've even entered a couple of my own just to lower the tone a little. |
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University Recollections By Louis Burnard 1. He once barricaded the Algerian girl who lived opposite us in halls, in her own room with not just cones but actual traffic blocks. Nice. Should have heard her scream his name in the morning....and he doesn't hear that often. 2. Once drunk so much that he lay in his bed and proceeded to hurl all over himself, not getting up till the next morning. 3. Went into rehab for addiction to Fifa 2000 and Hawaiian shirts. 4.Caused the cleaner in halls to quit because he used to make such a mess and abuse her. 5. Was a frequent visitor to 'Gay Gordens' the 'nice' bar at the union. 7. Got beaten up by his sister who we lived with in our 3rd year.
By Roger Jeffries
1. A Uni field trip to South France to study of all things ... viticulture... After day long train journey to Montpellier and the obligatory heavy night out on the lash on arrival before even thinking about work ... this was the morning after shambles. The lecturers mood (dark already by being woken by us drunken muppets the night before) ... the following morning was deeply darkened by one *nameless eeedjit* - who, on trying to close one of the minibus doors on the way out on the 1st morning , fell out the door ... hilarious we thought and even the lecturer joined in the vociferous piss taking of the muppet ... that was until we heard the yelps that followed as he stayed face down in the gutter as he'd unfortunately left his ankle behind inside the van locked against the bags ... he'd sprained and completely fecked his ankle! Cue first of many trips to froggy A+E and one muppet hobbling around on crutches for the entire week - half of which he spent sat in the van like a naughty boy because he couldnt make it round farms/factories on his crutches! 2) On same field trip on the TGV trip down While me and Nick tried to take money off our lecturer at cards, he caught us playing him and decided to get some revenge. He made up some BS about how you should chew your food 37 times before swallowing to aid your digestive system! So Church sat there in front of us and tried to chew his French train sarnie 37 times... trust me this is not easy! The look on his face was a classic (have you ever tried chewing 1 bit of food 37 times - you look a right muppet !) Not unusual for the fella. |
